Mastiffs & Chihuahuas

I had a dream last night about the new Chihuahua puppy my sister and her husband got yesterday. They live in Tucson, Arizona, where they have different kinds of ‘critters’ to be aware of than we do here in the hearty Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Vicki and Tom have to be on the lookout for snakes, spiders and lizardy things. I have deer, bear, bobcat and fox in the woods around my house. I’ve always thought that they should have a dog to help protect the house from unwelcome ‘visitors.’ I sure would if I lived there. Talking to Vicki last night about her new puppy Coco, reminded me of a time when I had four dogs.


I was lucky enough to spend some years raising mastiffs. I had two English Mastiffs and two Dogue de Bordeaux, French Mastiffs (‘Turner & Hooch’ dogs). Nix, Billy Rae, Ivan and Gertrude were about the best dogs a person could ever have. Yes they are as big as baby elephants and yes they do have heads the size of stop signs, but they’re as gentle and devoted a dog as you could ever hope to spend your days with.


I took all four of them many times in my little Tracker. They loved to ride in the car, and were content to lay down, as long as the car was moving. I remember going to a car wash, paying the attendant, and warning him that I had ‘dogs in the car.’ He looked a little confused and shook his head and said, "Ummm, okay." As he began to prewash my car and tires with a soapy broom, my babies decided to sit up and see what was going on. When all four heads came up at four windows, the poor guy almost had a heart attack. He jumped back and dropped the broom. He clutched his chest and laughed and yelled, "Those aren’t dogs! Those are dinosaurs! I bet nobody bothers you when they’re around!" He was right.


My mastiffs got a lot of attention in these parts, where hunting dogs are the most popular. People knew the house on the corner that had the four DOGS. They never barked, but their presence was undeniable. I took my safety from predators for granted, until one early morning ...


I was putting my daughter Jenny on the school bus at 6:45 AM. I left the glass sliding door open to the front porch, as I always did. My dogs never moved from their beds when I told them to stay. I had no fear of them running out the door, even though I lived on a very busy road. I waved to Jenny as her bus pulled away, and then went into the house, closed the sliding door and drapes, and went back to bed for a half hour.


When I got up, my four elephants ~ I mean dogs ~ were laying down, lined up in the dining room, facing the sliding door. They were about ten feet from the door, and watching intently. I asked them what was wrong, and told them that I thought I saw a scene like that in a horror movie once. I said, "Whatever is the matter with you guys this morning?" I pulled back the drapes and saw an enormous bullfrog inside the house, cowering by the door. He must have hopped up the wheelchair ramp and into the house, while the door was open and I was putting Jenny on the bus.


At first I didn’t believe he was real, as he was huge. I only had a moment to get brave and shoo him out of the house, because I was afraid that if he took one leap, he’d be on the other side of the room and I’d have a heck of a time picking him up.


I had over six hundred pounds of dog whimpering softly, watching me get the bullfrog out of the house. They may have saved my life in the face of a bear or an intruder, but not with that frog. They were scared to death. They were all lined up with their eyes bulging, which at least alerted me to something being wrong, but they weren’t going near it. Mastiffs are not hunters.


I spent the morning scolding them, calling them cowards and cement heads. They would look at me and hang their heads, then drop to the floor in puddles, as if they had nothing to live for. They were very remorseful when Mommie was upset with them. On the heals of a heartbreaking divorce and having to leave my home, I had to find new homes for my Nix, Billy Rae, Ivan and Gertie. How I loved them.


Last night I dreamed that Tom and Vicki’s new puppy ~ a Chihuahua, a mere morsel of a dog, compared to my mastiffs ~ yelped and yarped and danced in a circle like a mad dog, around a bullfrog that had found its way into their home. I’m not sure what she would do in the face of a man or bear, but she sure took care of that frog!


My dream reminded me of the good days in my life that I spent with four very special animals. In a perfect world I would have a much bigger house, two English Mastiffs and two Dogue de Bordeaux. And maybe one tiny Chihuahua, who could take care of the really ‘big’ problems!